THE WATCHMEN FILES
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Cast

Who watches the Watchmen? Well, heck, we do.

Main Characters

Splotchface

NAME(S): Rorschach, Splotchface

NOTES: An inquisitive and brutal psychopath who takes it upon himself to solve the murder of The Dead Comedian. Amuses himself by breaking the fingers of random troublemakers and Communists.

KEY WORD: Hurm


MegaSmurf

NAME(S): Doctor Manhattan, Jon Osterman, MegaSmurf

NOTES: An omipotent, omniscient, giant nude smurf. Can see all of time and space, can replicate into multiple bodies. Can sing the blues and host a bar mitzvah. Can, in short, do pretty much anything. No wonder Bimbo Lass fell for him.

KEY WORD: Smurfy


Captain Pudgey

NAME(S): Nite Owl, Daniel Dreiberg, Captain Pudgey

NOTES: A retired, middle-aged superhero who has let himself go, much to the chagrin of Splotchface. Is swiftly seduced by the super-power of Bimbo Lass's mini-skirt.

KEY WORD: Flabby


Other Characters

LORD SMARTYPANTS: The smartest superhero in the world. Likes to accuse people of Nazism.


THE DEAD COMEDIAN: A murdered rapist Nazi and, hence, the funniest hero in the series.


BIMBO LASS: Very saucy young lady whose superpowered short skirt enables her to seduce both MegaSmurf and Captain Pudgey. Tragically she does not make them wrestle for her affections.

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