THOUGHT
Score: 7.6 / 10 
Oboe Man
It's a good thing that Billy Joel didn't begin his career playing the oboe. For while 'Oboe Man' may scan almost as well as 'Piano Man', an oboe player is hindered by the fact that he can't sing at the same time. On the other hand, had he been the 'Banjo Man' that would have worked and he could have sung as well... so we shouldn't feel that the path of William's career was in any sense predetermined. This, I feel, is a philosophical triumph for free will advocates everywhere.
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This here item has so far scored 7.6 / 10 on the patented Astonishing Tales Funny-o-meter.
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