THOUGHT
Score: 7.4 / 10 
Hoop Earrings
Have I mentioned my deep-seated hatred of hoop earrings? People (eg Kiki Dee) often ask me from where this loathing stems. I always tell Kiki the same thing: it stems from the fact that hoop earrings have a centre of gravity that doesn't rest on the surface of the earring itself. That kind of madness freaks me out. Frankly, anybody who would permit this kind of gravitational cockamamie in such close proximity to one's second most important sensory organ (third if telepathic - hi Tom Skerritt) is clearly barking mad.
Oh, I have already mentioned this? Okay, then. Carry on.
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This here item has so far scored 7.4 / 10 on the patented Astonishing Tales Funny-o-meter.
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