THOUGHT
Score: 7.6 / 10 
Bus Tactics
A cool thing to do when you get on a bus is to say in a deep gravely voice 'This mortal vessel has a stronger will than I credited it for. But it shall not deny my nefarious power.' Then wait a few seconds, grimace and say in your normal voice (but with a terrified tone) 'Sweet Jesus, no!!' because, you know, seat to yourself.
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This here item has so far scored 7.6 / 10 on the patented Astonishing Tales Funny-o-meter.
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