Dan Liebke’s Astonishing Tales

The biggest difference between Smallville Clark and Superboy Clark is that Superboy Clark is already taking this whole ’secret identity’ thing deadly seriously. Far more seriously than Smallville Clark, who busies himself each episode running around at superspeed, doing superheroics willy-nilly to such an extent that anybody paying a modicum of attention (ie nobody in the regular cast) could work out there’s something a little peculiar about the kiddie from the Kent farm.

Boy! Your son is a pussy

Superboy Clark, on the other hand, has already donned the specs and is doing what is known as the ‘milquetoast’ thing, much to the derision of, well, everybody. Pa Kent, of course, is on top of the slang that the kids are using, as you’d expect. Y’know, like ‘jock’. And, uh, ‘milquetoast’.

Of course, Superboy Clark sometimes performed the occasional superheroics with the specs on…

Changing clothes! What a bother!

Time for yet another oath

…because, really, taking 0.02 of a second to change clothes at superspeed can really put a crimp in one’s day. However, Superboy Clark instantly regrets his behaviour and at the demented urging of Pa Kent, swears an oath to behave himself from now on. Pa was big on the oath-swearing in the Superboy books.

Tractor-throwing - a sure way to give away one's superpower secret

As mentioned, this all stands in stark contradiction to his Smallville counterpart, who flaunts his powers shamelessly. Sure, he makes a token effort to hide his antics, but, by Superboy standards, it’s a hopelessly half-assed one. By my reckoning, every single member of the regular cast has learned of Smallville Clark’s powers at one time or another, even if most have forgotten as a result of electric brain-frying (Lex), being returned to their own body (Lionel) or not really caring enough about other people to remember (Lana). Superboy’s Pa Kent would have had a fit at this over-reliance on amnesia and self-absorption and rightly so.

Surf city, here we come

No, Smallville’s Jonathan Kent may talk the talk on keeping the powers secret but he and Smallville Clark could learn much from their Superboy counterparts. A pair of glasses may not be much of a disguise, but combine it with a pair of red and blue tights and you can be a dreamy hunk and use your powers in public in whatever manner rocks your board.

Smackdown Verdict:

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