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Score: 7.2 / 10 
John Mellencamp
At last it can be revealed how the misshapen feet of John Mellencamp aka John Cougar Mellencamp aka Johnny Cougar aka Felis Concolor Johnny influenced the shape of pop music history forever.
For years, John Mellencamp had suffered from a severe disorder of the foot, possibly as a result of rickets, perhaps due to a childhood fall off a rodeo clown. Regardless of its origin, chiropodists and podiatrists had invariably been left baffled and in tears by the musician's pedestral deformities. With a nobility that stunned many, Master Mellencamp took the failings of the medical foot fraternities in his unshapely stride for the most part and learned to live with footwear discomfort in all forms.
Until that one fateful day when, left lonely and frustrated in a local shoe shop after a night out on the town, the repeated inability to find comfortable slippers caused him to let forth the wailing plea: "I need a loafer that won't drive me crazy!"
A passing record producer heard his cry and suggested he immediately record a song with that title. Another wilier record producer (possibly Herb Alpert) made the profound single change needed for commercial acceptability. A hopelessly lost Pat Benatar happened to be strolling past the studio. And the rest, as people who write meandering historical text books like to say, is history.
Begone,
-- Back to all music
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