NEWS
Score: 7.2 / 10 
Congratulations Selectors, You've Just Dropped The World Cup
Filed: Friday, February 15, 2002
Steve Waugh, the deposed captain of the Australian one-day cricket team, accelerated his campaign to regain his position by reminding the selectors of his fearsome skills at sledging.
Sledging, the art of unsettling opposition players with well-directed comments and barbs, has long been the elder Waugh twin's specialty.
This season alone he has taken the skill into the previously uncharted territory of off-field sledging by calling South African paceman Steve Elworthy brainless, the Australian media a 'bunch of c*ckheads' and Timothy Dalton's tenure as James Bond 'profoundly disappointing'.
"People say he's no longer an all-rounder," said Australian batting maestro Michael Bevan. "But he's still got the sledging to go with the batting. And his ideas are as fresh as ever. Just the other night he wandered over to (NZ wicketkeeper Adam) Parore who was 14 not out and 'stole his nose'. Parore was baffled, began searching for his nose and was eventually stumped well out of his ground, down at deep mid on where Steve had told him he had left it. As Parore left the ground, Stephen revealed to him that 'it was my thumb, c*ckhead'. We all had a good laugh."
Bevan went on to add, "And he keeps passing on such ideas to the rest of us. That's what makes him a great captain."
Rock and roll guitarist Brett Lee agreed. "When I first came into the Australian team, I tried to sledge people by calling them 'coconuts' and 'mohair jackets'. Steve took me aside and pointed out that this made no sense at all."
Selectors admit they may have erred. "Frankly," said chairman of selectors Trevor Hohns, "we just forgot about his sledging."
Waugh's response when told of Hohns' comments was brief. "Senile c*ckheads"
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