NEWS
Score: 7.4 / 10 
Klink Dies - Neo-Nazis Mourn
Filed: Friday, December 8, 2000
Colonel Klink, perhaps the funniest Nazi in history has reportedly died. Details are sketchy at this stage but neo-Nazis have reacted angrily to the demise of one of their most treasured idols. "It's that $#&*(-ing chicken-$%&*(er Hogan, I #%&*(-ing betcha," said a leading neo-Nazi who preferred to remain anonymous and incoherent.
When informed that Klink had reportedly died of a long-term illness, another neo-Nazi swore using dollar-signs, ampersands, hashes and the little 'at' symbol. "That's just what that @#$&-er Hogan wants you to &@#$-ing think."
When informed that Bob Crane, who played Hogan in the satirical sitcom Hogan's Heroes had died in 1978, apparently committing suicide, another neo-Nazi laughed. "Yeah, that would be right," he snorted. "Only the weakest and most pathetic take their own lives."
When informed that Hitler committed suicide, the neo-Nazi began to cry and swear and shake his head, muttering incomprehensible Nazi slogans and racist catch-phrases before running off to pick a fight with an old couple who, happily, knew Kung Fu and beat the shit out of him.
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