Dan Liebke’s Astonishing Tales

My latest insight into the mind of Bill came last night. Trish pickedme up from the bus stop and Bill was sitting in the back seat lookingall sad. I asked him what was wrong. And he said “I want you to helpme stop it turning dark on the island”. Bill refers to his widersurroundings whether it be his bedroom, our home, town, state, countryor in fact entire planet as “The Island”. Not sure where he got thisnotion from but I suspect his sister may have had something to do withit.

Basically, the crux of Bilbo’s problem was that he didn’t want itgetting dark anymore because going dark eventually led to him having togo to bed which is an activity that he enjoys about as much as theaverage male enjoys a kick in the groin.

But he wasn’t completely clueless on how we were going to stop it frombecoming dark. He then went on to tell me that Superman could do it byflying up into space and making time go backwards (we’d recently watchedSuperman The Movie together, and by “watched” I mean fast forwarded tothe cool parts where Superman appeared, none of this establishing ofcharacters for young William).

It’s time like these that I really wish that the creators of thesemovies gave some thought to how parents could explain to theircrest-fallen children how completely implausible these sorts of ideasreally are. I mean, it’s all good and well to come up with this coolnotion of Superman flying so fast that he makes the world go backwardsbut I’m the one left to explain to a wide-eyed four year old who havingdone in his mind, some good solid research, why this concept won’t holdwater.

I personally think that movie companies should have a website forparents to go to that gives them quasi-plausible explanations that willappease youngsters who wish to attempt to replicate the feats they seeon the big screen.

I also think that movie companies should completely abandon the wholeconcept of “chick flicks” and instead pour their resources into PoliceAcademy sequels but that’s a whole other argument.

Related Pages

If you hated this, you'll probably also hate:

1. Skywriting - Why It Is Stupid - I was on the bus this morning and I noticed some skywriting going on. Now...
2. ‘Twas The Night Before Star Wars - 'Twas the night before Star Wars, and geeks queued round the world Counting the hours...
3. Livin’ Next Door To Rapunzel - My 3 year old son Bilbo has developed his first crush (on a girl thankfully)...
4. A Late Night Phone Call - I was reading in bed late last night (the latest issue of Cleo) when the...
5. Twister - Well, what an interesting little movie this turned out to be. Based on one of...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.