GNATTERINGS
Score: 7 / 10 
Livin' Next Door To Rapunzel
My 3 year old son Bilbo has developed his first crush (on a girl thankfully) who recently moved in next to us (much like that poor git who lived next door to Alice). She's eleven years old but Bill is undaunted by the apparent age gap. He's so smitten by this girl that he'll stand in our backyard and scream over the fence "Rapunzel, I need you!!!" which is both very cute and no doubt a little disturbing for Rapunzel (names have been pixelated and faces have been changed partially to protect the parties involved but more so because I really like the name Rapunzel and faces that look like no human on Earth).
But, I give my boy credit, he moves fast (unlike that git from Living Next Door to Alice who waited 24 damn years and still missed his chance). On the weekend he managed to team up with his sister and convince his mother (upon hearing of their plan I hid under the stairs until the decision had been made) to have Rapunzel come and stay for the night. It was all rather sweet, in a manipulative Machiavellian kind of way. Rapunzel had to have dinner first at her house so Bilbo faithfully sat at the front door pining for her and mumbling to himself about the indignities of life until she re-appeared.
They then settled in for a movie which is where Bilbo pulled off a manoeuvre that made his father proud. He managed to convince Rapunzel that the movie they were watching was scary. She then (naturally enough) had no choice but to cuddle and protect him.
A standard enough ploy you might be thinking. Until you realised that the movie in question was the 1992 Charles Grodin vehicle, Beethoven.
Ah well,
-- Back to Gnatterings
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