ASK DR DAN
Score: 7.8 / 10 
Health Guide
Traditional health tips are boring and difficult to stick with. You need something easier.
Traditional Tip: Eat Proper Foods
Dr Dan Alternative: If proper foods were really that proper, they'd taste better. So spice up that tasteless tofu with something a little more scrumptious. Replace salt and pepper with granulated versions of greasy fried chicken or Snickers bars or whatever 'unhealthy' food takes your fancy. Sure, it takes time to grind the foods into tiny particles - but the end result is worth it. If it tastes good, it's good for you. Anybody who says different is a liar or a vegetarian.
Traditional Tip: Quit Smoking
Dr Dan Alternative: Smoking is highly addictive and, once you're hooked, is extremely difficult to give up. The trick is not to start in the first place. So if you've already done so, simply build a time machine and go back to the day on which you started and give yourself a good talking-to.
Traditional Tip: Exercise Regularly
Dr Dan Alternative: Exercising is hard work. There's no getting around that. The best way to force yourself to stick to a regular exercise regime is to get yourself thrown into prison. When the alternatives are being beaten by overzealous guards or fending off the affections of your cellmate Rocco, you'll soon find the exercise yard an irresistible lure.
Traditional Tip: Meditate
Dr Dan Alternative: Meditation is boring, yet at the same time mind-numbingly tedious. Your goal when meditating is to empty your mind of all thoughts. Try pretending you are a guest on Jerry Springer. It will still be stultifyingly dull, but at least it will give you an excuse to throw a chair at somebody.
That should help. If it doesn't, you're doing it wrong. Try harder.
Dr. Dan
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