THE DAWSON FILES SEASON 5
Score: 7.7 / 10 
15: What The Hell Was That??
Starring Dawson Leery (James Van Der Beek) as Kid Flash/Mr Tosser/Dunstan, Joey Potter (Katie Holmes) as Ah Joey, Jen Lindley (Michelle Williams) as Chipmunk Face, Pacey Witter (Joshua Jackson) as The Paceman, Jack McPhee (Kerr Smith) as Gay Jack, Andie McPhee (Meredith Monroe) as Crazy Andy and Grams (Mary Beth Peil) as herself. For more information on these people and more, consult the scorecard
Well, what the hell was that??
Now, I know last week I said (and I quote) that they should 'lose Dunstan, Paceman, Crazy Audrey and Chipmunk Face (perhaps in a series of one-on-one gladiatorial battles) - and instead have Gay Jack move in on Professor Wildstallion!', but the writers have just taken my idea (except for the Gay Jack-Professor Wildstallion subplot) and gone totally ballistic with it.
As I have had the flu for the past few days I have taken my time in getting around to watching the recording of this particular episode. And now that I have done so, I remain convinced that I am still suffering from some form of disease-addled hallucinations and am nowhere near as well as I had previously believed.
"... Ah Joey sang Close To You to him until he died ..."
For did I not just see an episode where Ah Joey got mugged by the most urbane, witty, charming mugger one could ever hope to be mugged by, only to have the aformentioned Mugger Charming get hit by a car and get taken to hospital where Ah Joey sang Close To You to him until he died, before she then went out and irresponsibly concocted some bizarre fantasy intepretation of the evening to his daughter?!? And nothing else happen at all?!?
Highly peculiar. I'm going to assume this is some dream put forth by my (apparently still-)fevered brow and wait patiently for some stronger Sudafed and...
Next Week: Gay Jack takes Paceman to a gay bar.
Begone,
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