THE DAWSON FILES SEASON 1
Score: 7.5 / 10 
5: Mr Tosser Dobs In Mrs Flash
Starring Dawson Leery (James Van Der Beek) as Kid Flash/Mr Tosser/Dunstan, Joey Potter (Katie Holmes) as Ah Joey, Jen Lindley (Michelle Williams) as Chipmunk Face, Pacey Witter (Joshua Jackson) as The Paceman, Jack McPhee (Kerr Smith) as Gay Jack, Andie McPhee (Meredith Monroe) as Crazy Andy and Grams (Mary Beth Peil) as herself. For more information on these people and more, consult the scorecard
Another early episode of Dawson. And it's the episode where things started to come good.
A storm's comin' to Capeside. And, of course, because the show is Dawson's Creek, the storm is clearly going to be metaphorical as well as meteorological. Mr Tosser knows about his mother's sexual shenanigans and is about to dob her into Mr Flash.
Storm's comin'.
Elsewhere, Paceman has been conscripted by his gay cop brother (who is crucially filling the gay role in the show until Gay Jack shows up) into warning people that the storm is coming for them. (The meteorological storm, not the metaphorical one. Nobody's getting any warnings about the metaphorical one.)
So they wander around the town and where do you think they eventually end up? That's right. Miss Farquar's place.
Storm's comin'.
"... Mrs Flash takes Mr Flash and Mr Tosser aside and confesses her morally loose behaviour."
Back at Flash headquarters, Mr Tosser has invited Grams and Chipmunk Face over to watch the fireworks. And they don't take long to arrive. Tiring of Mr Tosser's sly innuendo about what a whore she is, Mrs Flash takes Mr Flash and Mr Tosser aside and confesses her morally loose behaviour.
'For the past two months,' she says. 'Every time I've left Flash HQ, I've been bonking myself silly with some stallion other than you.'
Then, dramatically, lightning crashes and the lights go out.
Storm's hit.
Over at Miss Farquar's place, the Paceman's Gay Cop Brother is trying to crack onto Miss Farquar. Paceman is naturally very stupid and jealous about this. At one point he just starts groping her, but when his brother catches him, he claims to have been simply giving her a breast examination.
Gay Cop Brother falls for this and then tries to deny his homosexuality by asking Miss Farquar out. She claims to already have a boyfriend, which makes Paceman even more annoyed... until he realises its him.
Mr Flash, meanwhile, has gone completely ballistic at Mrs Flash. 'Was it Hawkman?' he asks. 'Batman? Green Lantern? That showy Martian Manhunter?' Mrs Flash doesn't want to say but Mr Flash just knows it was Green Arrow.
As a result, he decides to tell Mrs Flash that he doesn't love her any more. She inexplicably claims that this is not fair and begins to cry a lot, filling the void that Crazy Andy will fill in future episodes.
Chipmunk Face tracks down Mr Tosser and weighs in on Mrs Flash's side. 'She just needed some extra lovin' opines Chipmunk Face. 'Just the kind of opinion I'd expect from a fellow slut,' says Mr Tosser. This upsets Chipmunk Face, which is odd, because it's certainly true.
And then the storm ends. But not metaphorically. The symbolic storm has just begun. Dawson has hit its stride.
Next Week: It gets even better. Paceman is busted about his tomfoolery with Miss Farquar. Mr Flash continues to be all cross. And something happens with Mr Tosser, Ah Joey and Chipmunk Face which I do not recall.
Begone,
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