THE DAWSON FILES SEASON 1
Score: 7.8 / 10 
11: Some Interesting Seeds Are Sown
Starring Dawson Leery (James Van Der Beek) as Kid Flash/Mr Tosser/Dunstan, Joey Potter (Katie Holmes) as Ah Joey, Jen Lindley (Michelle Williams) as Chipmunk Face, Pacey Witter (Joshua Jackson) as The Paceman, Jack McPhee (Kerr Smith) as Gay Jack, Andie McPhee (Meredith Monroe) as Crazy Andy and Grams (Mary Beth Peil) as herself. For more information on these people and more, consult the scorecard
We begin with Mr Tosser moping about being dumped by Chipmunk Face (yes, still!). Ah Joey takes understandable pleasure in rubbing in how lame Mr Tosser must be to be dumped by a chipmunk.
Mr and Mrs Flash are still squabbling, this time initiated by Mrs Flash's ex-bonk calling the house. Mr Flash gets cross and snide and storms out at super-speed.
Chipmunk Face asks Mr Tosser the 'Just Good Friends' question. Mr Tosser ignores the question and, on Paceman's advice, asks out some odd little girl who has the hots for him.
Meanwhile, Paceman has flunked a biology test. His teacher ranks him out and insists he does an extra-credit project. And guess who he's doing it with? That's right, Ah Joey.
Bickering and squabbling instantly ensues. Oooh, sexual tension.
In a moment of inspired madness, Mr Tosser proposes that he and his horny new chicklet go on a double date with Chipmunk Face and her outrageous new stallion. Chipmunk Face agrees, because she understands that conflict is an important part of any teen soap.
Ah Joey and Paceman are meanwhile watching snails reproduce. So, no surprises there.
Mr Flash asks Mr Tosser to eavesdrop on all phone calls to make sure that Mrs Flash isn't back on her back. Being a sneaky, conniving spy is right up Mr Tosser's proverbial alley, so he readily agrees.
Paceman has by now managed to kill the snails so it's off to the creek with him and Ah Joey to find some new ones.
"Mr Tosser still manages to alienate everybody with his penislessness."
Meanwhile, the double date is a shambles. Mr Tosser is trying to make Chipmunk Face's date look stupider than him. Obviously, this is impossible, but Mr Tosser still manages to alienate everybody with his penislessness.
More squabbling back at the creek between Ah Joey and Paceman. They are all wet, so Paceman tricks Ah Joey into changing her clothes and cunningly gets a glimpse of her amazing wet nudity via one of the car's side mirrors.
He immediately yearns for her bod and the basis for many future episodes are laid.
Mr Tosser's odd little girl has by now revealed that she doesn't actually like Mr Tosser. This makes perfect sense. In fact, she lusts for Chipmunk Face's new stallion. So, the two of them vow to break Chipmunk Face and Stallion up.
But their attempts fail miserably. Chipmunk Face goes mental at Mr Tosser on a ferris wheel, calling him 'a weirdo' and 'a bizarroid little freak'. 'Oh yeah?' is the wittiest response Mr Tosser can come up with.
Then Paceman shows up and asks Mr Tosser if he can have a shot at Ah Joey. 'Sure,' says Mr Tosser. 'No, wait. No.' But it's too late, because Paceman has run off and gone the pash on her. Ah Joey resists her true feelings and fights him off.
We see now how one misjudgement by a tosser can cause endless episodes of turmoil. Isn't it brilliant?
An excellent episode. A bit of Ah Joey nudity. The seeds sown for much future turmoil. Absolutely splendid stuff. Full marks.
Oh yeah, and Mr Flash is no longer suspicious of Mrs Flash. No idea why not.
Next Week: Ah Joey and Paceman enter a beauty contest. Ah Joey is on course for victory, but then opts to sing.
Begone,
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