Dan Liebke’s Astonishing Tales

Who watches the Watchmen? Well, heck, we do.
Main Characters
NAME(S): Rorschach, Splotchface
NOTES: An inquisitive and brutal psychopath who takes it upon himself to solve the murder of The Dead Comedian. Amuses himself by breaking the fingers of random troublemakers and Communists.
KEY WORD: Hurm

NAME(S): Doctor Manhattan, Jon Osterman, MegaSmurf
NOTES: An omipotent, omniscient, giant nude smurf. Can see [...]

Following the phenomenal triumphs of the Dawson’s Creek Episode Guide - The Dawson Files and the Smallville Episode Guide - The Smallville Files comes the Watchmen Comic Summary - The Watchmen Files.
Read these fake testimonials from the Watchmen characters:
This comic book summary is totally smurfy – MegaSmurf (Doctor Manhattan)
When I first read Moore and [...]

So as Splotchface and CaptainPudgey approach Lord Smartypants’ Antarctichideout, Lord Smartypants watches them on his giant TV screens. They’re still far toofar away to worry about so he switches over to’Married With Children’.
Splotchey and Pudgey continueto try and work out just what, exactly, theyshould do when they arrive at Smartypants HQ.
… I votewe break his [...]

The Grand Finale opens in NewYork where, just as Lord Smartypants so cleverlyexposited last issue, a giant psychic space alienhas exploded, killing all the supportingcharacters as well as a few million otherpeople.
We see several full-scale pagesof the devastation before seeing MegaSmurf andBimbo Lass wandering through the corpses.
MegaSmurf complains about howhe can’t see the future.
MegaSmurf complains [...]

On the home straight now. We
open with President Nixon making his way into a military bunker, preparing himself to press the
button that will start a rip-snortin’ game of World War III.
Meanwhile, Captain Pudgey and Splotchface are sitting in the Owlmobile at the
bottom of the ocean, talking about chicks and breaking people’s fingers. Makes one kind [...]

Okey-doke. So MegaSmurf has
teleported Bimbo Lass to Mars where they are
about to discuss whether or not MegaSmurf should
get off his big naked blue butt and save Earth
from impending nuclear war.
It’s a worthwhile topic for
debate to be sure. MegaSmurf is arguing that why
should he bother when, y’know, there’s all kinds
of cool stuff on Mars to check [...]

Well, this is more like it. Now
that we have Captain Pudgey and Bimbo Lass’s
sexual shenanigans out of the way it’s time for
some action.
We open with Captain Pudgey’s
mentor, Captain Pudgey Senior calling up Bimbo
Lass’s mother, The Original Bimbo Lass and
spilling the beans on the aforementioned
shenanigans.
‘He’s really going for it!
says Captain Pudgey Senior.
“He’s really going for it!”
says [...]

We start the second half of the series
with a rather lacklustre issue. This sense of lacklustredom
may revolve around the fact that we’re dealing solely with
the rather tedious Captain Pudgey and Bimbo Lass and their
rather tedious lives. There is no sign of Splotchface or
The Dead Comedian or anybody else with a sense of
humour.
But I get ahead [...]

Time to find out what makes
Splotchface tick. Helping us in this task is a prison
psychiatrist named Dr Sensible.
Dr Sensible starts (rather sensibly) by
holding up some splotchey inkblot tests for Splotchface to
try and interpret.
Dr Sensible is thinking of Mickey
Mouse. Not at all sensible, Doc.
(He’s also irritating Splotchface by
calling him ‘Walter’ instead of Splotchface. Which, to
be fair [...]

We open with Splotchface showing up atthe old villain’s place from issue two and amusing himself byscaring the bejeezus out of this poor old villain andlocking him in a refrigerator. Oh Splotchface, you’re noDead Comedian, but you still have your mirthfulmoments.
Anyway, Splotchface is still trying towork out who killed The Dead Comedian and tricked MegaSmurfinto [...]