Category: ask dr dan
Glasses
Dear Dr Dan,
Is the glass half-empty? Or half-full?
– Optimistic About My Pessimism
Dear Pessimistic About My Optimism,
I don’t think you should look at the glass as being half-full or half-empty. Instead, simply accept the fact that you’re using a glass that is way too big.
[...]
Posted: August 3rd, 2009 under ask dr dan.
Tags: glasses, optimism, pessimism
Comments: 1
Party
Dear Dr Dan,
If you could invite any three historical figures over for dinner, who would they be?
– Dinner Party Fan
Dear Dinner Party Fan
I’d have to say Porky Pig (our favourite ham!) and Mr Potato Head, both roasted to perfection and topped with a sauce made of freshly pureed Fiona Apple. [...]
Posted: April 15th, 2008 under ask dr dan.
Tags: fiona apple, mr potato head, porky pig
Comments: none
Bored
Dear Dr Dan,
I’m bored. Can you suggest something fun to do?
– Overcome With Tedium
Dear Overcome With Tedium,
As long as you have a dead animal carcass and a stopwatch, you can always have fun. Simply hang the carcass from a backyard hook, pull out your stopwatch and measure how long it takes for the flies to [...]
Posted: November 17th, 2007 under ask dr dan.
Tags: dead animals, stopwatch, tedium
Comments: none
Hairy Girlfriend
Dear Dr Dan,
My girlfriend has a lot of hair on her arms and legs. She even gets hairs on her lip sometimes. How can I encourage her to look after herself better? I love her, but I don’t want to date a Yeti!
– Furious About Follicles
Dear Furious About Follicles,
The good news is: you’re not dating [...]
Posted: August 19th, 2007 under ask dr dan.
Tags: bad news, hairs, himalayas, license to wed
Comments: none
Man Boobs
Dear Dr Dan,
What can I do about my man-boobs?
– Masculine Yet Buxom
Dear Masculine Yet Buxom
You could try a sex change.
Posted: July 16th, 2007 under ask dr dan.
Tags: buxom men
Comments: none
Boyfriend
Dear Dr Dan,
I have been with my bf for 2 years but still constantly think about my ex– even though at the end of that relationship, he treated me like crap. What should I do?
– Enjoying The Rear View
Dear Enjoying The Rear View,
I assume that by ‘treated me like crap’, you mean that he used [...]
Posted: May 5th, 2007 under ask dr dan.
Tags: socially conservative climates, toilet paper
Comments: none
Nike
Dear Dr Dan,
My girlfriend is into all these charities and stuff I just don’t care about. She wants me to sign a petition against Nike⢠sweat shops. Should I just go along with it?
– Couldn’t Give A Rat’s
Dear Couldn’t Give A Rat’s,
Your girlfriend is crazy. Talk some sense into her before she wastes her life [...]
Posted: January 30th, 2007 under ask dr dan.
Tags: crazy talk, crusades, nike sweat shops, petitions
Comments: none
Paris
Dear Dr Dan,
My aunt has invited me to spend a summer in Paris. Should I go?
– Oui or Non?
Dear Oui or Non?,
It must seem tempting to spend some extended time in Paris. Taking in the sights. Spending time with the locals, learning the language. Enjoying the unique atmosphere you’ve heard and read so much about, [...]
Posted: November 14th, 2006 under ask dr dan.
Tags: atmosphere, languages, locals, summer in paris
Comments: none
Thinking
Dear Dr Dan,
I met someone but he lives 3000 miles away. I can’t stop thinking about him. What should I do??
– Far, Far Away
Dear Far, Far Away,
Firstly, determine how much you want to be thinking about him. 100% of the time seems too much. Perhaps 4% of the time would be appropriate. That’s about an [...]
Posted: October 10th, 2006 under ask dr dan.
Tags: interpolation, microsoft excel, missing loved ones, simplification
Comments: none
Interested
Dear Dr Dan,
If a girl asks you ‘do you have a boyfriend?’ does it mean she is interested in you?
– Usurer
Dear Usurer,
No, it means she’s interested in your boyfriend.
Posted: September 6th, 2006 under ask dr dan.
Tags: boyfriends, understanding women
Comments: none