Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

If I ever have a child, I think I’d really like to name him/her ‘Eight’. When the child was old enough to ask me why I chose that name, I’d tell him/her to, firstly, clarify their gender. Enough of this ‘him/her’ gibberish. Take a stance for once in your life, young Eight! Once he’d sorted that out, I’d tell her that the name was the score out of ten I gave him at birth. I figure 8/10 is a pretty good score for a newborn. It shows I love her (heck, I didn’t give him a three or something, did I?), but I’m still giving her an incentive to grow and strive for that elusive ten out of ten. Now, that’s good fathering.

Also, if I ever make the newspapers, they might well describe me as ‘Dan Liebke, father of eight’ (assuming the journalist has poor discipline on the name-capitalisation front) and people might then mistake me for Eight Is Enough star Dick Van Patten. Kick-ass!

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