Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

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The GI Joe movie is here! And, of course, I’ve been given secret promotional material links to help promote it, because isn’t that what promotional material is all about? The promoting? Hell, yeah.

But you know what kind of promotion I miss? The dance craze tie-in. Remember how, for 1989′s Batman, The Artist Currently Known As Prince got us all toe-tapping to the Bat-Dance? Or the time we all learned the Ear-Slicer from Reservoir Dogs? That rocked!

So, if I was in charge of promoting GI Joe, I’d have hired some hot young band (say, Nickelback or The Miley Cyrus) to invent a toe-tapping jig that would get people a-shimmyin’ and a-shakin’ and a-talkin’ about all things Joe. It wouldn’t have to be old-fashioned and tedious, like so many ancient dance crazes were (looking at you, The Hustle). It could be modernised as all get-out!

Because, man, the GI Joe Neo-Jig? That’s palindromtastic!!

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