Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

How did the beautiful people find the site this week? Why, only a detailed scan of the keywords will tell us…

Gawd, check out that next issue spoiler!

“lana lang” porn -kreuk

I usually leave the porn-related keyword searches out of these lists because a) they’re kinda tedious and b) they’re kinda depressing and also c) they’re often disturbing.

This one tickled my fancy, though. Somebody’s looking for non-Kristin Kreuk Lana Lang porn. And, because I’m not one to disappoint,  here’s a picture from the old Superboy comics. It’s Lana and Superbody Superboy making out – best I can do, I’m afraid.

So maybe I am one to disappoint. Sorry about that.

astonishing nails

So close. So very close.

where did joey on dawson’s creek go to college?

Worthington.

captain amnesia

Wouldn’t it suck if he forgot his secret identity? And wouldn’t it also be somewhat inevitable? This is a superhero creation with legs, I feel. Always a fine quality in a superhero, Professor X notwithstanding.

Get it? Notwithstanding. Man, I crack me up sometimes.

“pretends to die” children tv

Alas, I don’t know what this children’s television show might be. But if it’s got a host feigning death, then I want my theoretical future children to see it. Toughen ‘em up. Prepare them for the realities of the world.

african animals interactive

Yep. Pretty much all of them.

what is ozymandias watching?

Um, the Watchmen? Also, a shitload of television sets. And he’s the smartest man in the world. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, anti-television intellectual snobs.

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