Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

So… watching Rove last night (international visitors, please replace the name ‘Rove’ (yes, name! Weird, huh? Us Aussies, we so nutty!!) with the name of your talk show host of choice) and Bruno was on, promoting his movie. And, as expected, Bruno was outrageous and shocking and the like. He peered down Rove’s pants, claimed the jury was still out on whether Hitler was okay or not and suggested that pets should be bagged and thrown in a river after a week.

All fair enough. If you’re going to ski the slopes of shock comedy, then making outrageous comments is to be expected. And, of course, vice versa.

And, yet, there was a point where, according to the all-knowing censors at Channel Ten, Bruno went too far. Way too far. Upon being shown a picture of Borat (‘an offensive stereotype of a foreigner’), Bruno went on to claim that Sacha Baron Cohen was ‘uber-gay’ and that ‘his wife got as much sex as (insert all-censoring silence)’.

(Why on Earth am I telling you all this – watch and see for yourselves (censoring at 2:50) – after all, that’s why Britney invented the internet. I’ll wait for you…)

So, anyways, undeterred by the mind-controllin’ head-crunchers at Channel Ten, I investigated further. A few rewatches and lip-reads and google searches later and it became clear that the punchline was ‘Katie Holmes‘.

Katie Holmes.

Huh. That’s the shocking bit?! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have an alleged (hi, legal team) sham marriage. I sure hope nobody’s told the inimitably awesome Jonathan Coulton.