Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

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Okay. So at the end of last issue, Golden Age Supes (aka The Earth-2 Superman) busted out of his interdimensional hideout and back into the regular DC Universe. His first order of business? To, uh, find Power Girl. Newer readers may think this an odd priority and perhaps explain it away by, say, the fact that Power Girl has a circular hole in the front of her costume that displays a large portion of her ample bosom. But, no, this is not what’s driving Golden Age Supes and, neatly, my explanation as to how I know this is so also doubles as an explanation as to his true motivations. Namely, that Power Girl is his long-lost cousin. So, no dirty old man leering there, one would hope. Or, if so, only a minimal, healthy amount.

PG by name, but not by nature

Anyways, Golden Age Supes shows up just in time to beat the snot out of some more supervillains who were busily trying to kidnap Power Girl (foreshadowingly similar to the kidnapping of Uncle Sam last issue). Golden Age Supes takes her back to an arctic fort. Power Girl is unimpressed. “It’s no Fortress of Solitude,” she sniffs. “Alexander built it,” says Golden Age Supes hurriedly, and then introduces her to his best buddies – the aforementioned interior designically-challenged Alexander Luthor from Earth-3, the Earth-Prime Superboy (whose design skills are unclear) and, of course, the dying Golden Age Lois Lane (who is too busy dying to add even some simple curtains or potpourri). Golden Age Supes then goes on to give a four page recap of Crisis on Infinite Earths, explaining to PG all about multiverses and Anti-Monitors and how the JLA stole the title of ‘Earth-1′ for their own world and why, no matter what Earth you come from, Blue Beetle is invariably lame beyond measure.

“That’s all well and good and almost certainly excellent fodder for a sensibly-priced Absolute Edition™ of the complete tale,” says PG. “But I don’t remember any of this Earth-2 nonsense. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve always been on this Earth.” Alexander Luthor opines that this may be because Power Girl literally fell through a crack in reality. Y’know, as if that explained anything. But then PG touches the dying Golden Age Lois Lane and (in accordance with basic quantum physics) suddenly she does remember her existence on Earth-2 and how kick-ass it was. “Excellent,” says Golden Age Supes. “Because we now plan to bring Earth-2 back to life and have it, like, totally replace this Earth. I assume you’re willing to help us in this goal?” “Hmmm?” says PG. “We’re doing what, now?”

MVP: Difficult choice here. Golden Age Supes and Power Girl hogged much of the limelight, but there’s good stuff going on in the background pages – eg Bats being a dick (sans ‘Grayson’) to Alfred, Wonder Woman fighting OMAC’s on Paradise Island, The Joker getting pissed because he can’t get membership in the Supervillain Society, but probably the winner has to be Donna Troy (aka Troia aka Wonder Girl aka Darkstar aka Dark Angel aka Mrs Terry Long) who tells us that ‘the centre of the universe has changed’. Presumably, it used to be far more easygoing and less uptight about superheroines who constantly change their name and secret origin. Oh, centre of the universe, you’ve changed, man!

Next Issue: The Spectre’s had enough of Captain Fish-Head. PLUS Bat’s measured response.

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