Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

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I am reliably informed that the lyrics to the smash hit 70s television show Diff’rent Strokes claim that Mr Drummond is ‘born, he’s a man of means’. This, in contrast to my original hearing of the lyric, which was more along these lines:

‘A man is bored, he’s a man of means’

Because, I gotta say… my version? Way cooler. Just imagine Mr D sitting around his apartment, bored out of his elderly skull, wondering how he can liven up his afternoon, before finally espying a two for one adoption deal at the local adoption agency.

“Where are you off to Mr Drummond”

“Bored senseless, Edna. So I’m just off to pick up a couple of orphaned Harlem negro children. Have the place spick and span by the time I get back and see if you can’t find that missing ‘e’ from the show title.”

“Um, okay, Mr Drummond,” says Edna, fully aware that political correctness has not yet been invented. “But maybe instead of disrupting your life by adding two random additional children to the mix, you might want to, I don’t know, spend some time with Kimberley?”

“No… SHE’S BORING!!”

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