Dan Liebke’s Astonishing Tales

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So I watched Back To The Future on television again last night for about the millionth time. (Or, to be more precise, I watched it for about the millionth time, once again, last night, on television. Don’t mean to imply I watched it a million times last night. That would be nutty – how would I have found time for dinner? And, to be more precise still, it was probably not the millionth time. Let’s call it, say, the twentieth and escape this parenthetical aside which has instead somehow become the bulk of the paragraph.)

My point is this and it’s something I only really noticed for the first time last night. After Marty returns from 1955 (SPOILER!), he finds the future (ie, 1985) to be different – better! – than it was before, thanks to his time-manipulatin’ antics. Biff no longer is a bully to George. He is now subservient and car-waxing in his demeanour. As Marty comes to grips with this new reality, George gives Biff some stern talking-to about not skimping on the waxing and then he and Lorraine laugh at Biff’s scampish ways, but then reminisce about how, if it wasn’t for him, they never would have got together.

And it’s all well and good and jolly, except what they meant to say (based on what we witnessed not twenty minutes earlier in the movie) was this:

GEORGE: But if it wasn’t for Biff attempting to rape you, we never would have got together

LORRAINE: Oh, that Biff! What a sexually predatory scamp!

I guess it’s forgive and forget in this alternate McFly future. Oh, Marty! What a utopia you’ve created.

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