Wedding Day
The best part of the whole wedding thing is not the gathering of loved ones to drunkenly celebrate the union of two lovers in life-long partnership. Nor, for that matter, is it the bit when the groom says a stripper’s name instead of his bride’s. (Ha ha ha – still haven’t been forgiven for that). No, the finest aspect of a wedding ceremony is the whole ’something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’ ritual through which all young brides put themselves.
I love the idea of all these women contorting their entire dream day through the filter of this inane rhyme. But if I had my druthers (and we’ll deal with that drunken phrase some other time – thrilling dangling plot thread!), I’d make the rhyme even longer and really give the brides-to-be a challenge.
Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue,
Something Arabic, something Jew
Something found in a rusty canoe,Something mushy, something you chew
Something Tarantino, something John Woo
Something timely, something overdue,
Something expected, something taboo,Something aromatic, some kind of poo,
Something stolen after curfew
Something conditioner, something shampoo
And some kind of ill-gotten red kangaroo
Tell you what, if the ladies can muster that lot together, then they’ve truly earned their wedding day. And made it infinitely more interesting for the guests. Win-win!
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Posted: November 26th, 2008 under thoughts.
Tags: brides, druthers, john woo, rhymes, strippers
In Alaska, a few entrepreneurs have made a business out of collecting moose poop, sticking earring hooks in them, and selling them to tourists. Making the brides task of some kind of poo that much easier and even pleasant for all involved.
Oh, those zany Alaskans! Always trying to make a young lady's wedding day easier. That's why we love them (note: assumes we do, indeed, love them).
My wedding day is the happiest day ever in my life and Yes I've been through those something new, something blue, something borrowed things…
My wife shoplifted a freshly cast Papa Smurf figurine and then returned it later, figuring that one item covered her on all four fronts.
Ha ha ha! No. Of course she didn't do that – no court on Earth could prove it. Still, wouldn't it have been cool if she had?
I thought my wedding day was a crazy one, this one would be an absolute blast by the sounds of it!
me sad – i just wrote a really amusing comment but when i hit 'post comment' i got an error message >:(
anyhoo instead i will say i still have bron's garter which i caught at your wedding!
i just wrote a really amusing comment but when i hit 'post comment' i got an error message
Yeah, that's a security feature to prevent people from showing me up, funny-wise.
“…Nor, for that matter, is it the bit when the groom says a stripper’s name instead of his bride’s… “
I just can't stop laughing about that comment! I've forwarded it to my brother and dad. That's classic.
It's funny, because it's true. Still, that's what happens when you marry a woman named Bambi Von Snorkers
I totally agree with your point here! I admire the stuff you post and the quality information you offer in your blog! Keep up the awesome work
If there's anything that ever made me happy once,it was my wedding day. But after that particular day, things weren't as the seem under those nice suits. But your'e right..
Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue,
Something Arabic, something Jew
Something found in a rusty canoe,
lol
alaskans are crazy as hell lol.
Ah, so you followed the US election, too. Excellent.
Alaskans are smart, but I can't say that for tourists. They would buy everything even a poop on the wire.
The something expected something taboo bit should prove to be very, very interesting. :D