Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

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Dark Knight was clearly an awesomeish kind of movie. Director Christopher Nolan seems to more or less know what he’s doing, now that he’s got the hang of showing movies in proper chronological order. But having carefully watched the movie several hundred times now, I think I’ve worked out where the next flick in the franchise is going. Follow my reasoning as I put the pieces together for y’all:

1) Ra’s al Ghul. Scarecrow. Katie Holmes. Joker. Two-Face. Fine villains, one and all. But surely we’re ready for somebody new to make his debut next time around. And by ‘new’ I mean, of course, an antagonist who has been around for over half a century.

2) The theme of Harvey Dent, a valuable ally in Bats’ war against crime, turning to evil (um, SPOILER) is a powerful one, and surely deserving of another go round next time.

3) Recently uncovered Academy Award™-winning documentary footage shows that since at least 2005, Lucius Fox has been in Antarctica, studying penguins, narrating their life cycle for all who care to listen and (possibly) amassing a flightless army of fat little birds!

4) When it rains, Lucius Fox uses an umbrella.

Put all those pieces together, and I think it’s rather obvious who is going to be the next bat-villain. It all fits perfectly, it’s keeping in line with the thematic arc that has been set up by the previous two films and it’s an artistic choice that just feels very right.

Yes, you’ve guessed it. The villain in the next bat-movie will be…. Jessica Alba as Catwoman.

Because, y’know, hot damn, people!

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