Which Butt-Kicker Are You?

If you’ve been following either the Top Ten Kickers of Butt You Want On Your Side When Things Go Pear-Shaped list or the Next Best Kickers of Butt You Want On Your Side When Things Go Pear-Shaped list, then a question you may have sensibly considered is which of those almighty butt-kickers you most resemble.

Fortunately, the following simple quiz is designed to answer that very question. Simply answer each question by choosing the answer that best matches your personal butt-kicking style. Or, if you’re a fan of The Facebook, take the quiz over there and post it to your stream and all that.

1. When you are called upon to kick butt in a crisis situation, your first reaction is to:

  1. plan and strategise
  2. make a stirring speech
  3. just get in there with the butt-kicking! No time for thinkin’, damn your eyes!

2. Would you rather kick butt:

  1. completely alone. Don’t bug me with your external nonsense
  2. mostly alone, but with occasional outside consultation and advice
  3. as part of a butt-kickin’ duo or team

3. After a hard day’s kicking butt, you like to relax with a drink of:

  1. something alcoholic
  2. something caffeine-based
  3. the blood of your defeated enemies

4. You prefer to kick butt on behalf of:

  1. those incapable of kicking butt as well as you
  2. yourself
  3. whoever pays you the most – will kick butt for cash

5. When kicking butt, do you perspire?

  1. Like a freakin’ firehose
  2. A little
  3. Never

6. Being dressed immaculately while kicking butt is:

  1. inspirational to others, and hence completely necessary
  2. nice, but by no means essential
  3. wholly irrelevant, I’d kick butt naked if I had to

7. How important is it to work within the law while kicking butt?

  1. Very important, will do so as much as possible
  2. Important, but I will break the law if it’s going to inconvenience me
  3. Something I don’t even consider. I fight the law and I win

8. In a crisis situation that requires butt-kicking, do you:

  1. obey your superiors as much as possible
  2. get the job done, deal with your superiors later
  3. What in blue blazes is a ‘superior’?

9. Is your behaviour and language while kicking butt generally:

  1. safe for children
  2. okay, but parental guidance is recommended
  3. something that would make Chris Rock blush

Finally, 10. How’s your hair?

  1. Full of bounce and vitality
  2. It’s okay, but I could spend more time on it
  3. Don’t want to talk about it



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  5. Kickin Butt… For Facebook - The Which Butt-Kicker Are You? quiz is now available on Facebook. Because, presumably, Facebook has more visitors than this site (not sure, though – will have to check the stats)....

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