Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

1. plan and strategise
2. make a stirring speech
3. just get in there with the butt-kicking! No time for thinkin’, damn your eyes!

2. Would you rather kick butt:

1. completely alone. Don’t bug me with your external nonsense
2. mostly alone, but with occasional outside consultation and advice
3. as part of a butt-kickin’ duo or team

3. After a hard day’s kicking butt, you like to relax with a drink of:

1. something alcoholic
2. something caffeine-based
3. the blood of your defeated enemies

4. You prefer to kick butt on behalf of:

1. those incapable of kicking butt as well as you
2. yourself
3. whoever pays you the most – will kick butt for cash

5. When kicking butt, do you perspire?

1. Like a freakin’ firehose
2. A little
3. Never

6. Being dressed immaculately while kicking butt is:

1. inspirational to others, and hence completely necessary
2. nice, but by no means essential
3. wholly irrelevant, I’d kick butt naked if I had to

7. How important is it to work within the law while kicking butt?

1. Very important, will do so as much as possible
2. Important, but I will break the law if it’s going to inconvenience me
3. Something I don’t even consider. I fight the law and I win

8. In a crisis situation that requires butt-kicking, do you:

1. obey your superiors as much as possible
2. get the job done, deal with your superiors later
3. What in blue blazes is a ‘superior’?

9. Is your behaviour and language while kicking butt generally:

1. safe for children
2. okay, but parental guidance is recommended
3. something that would make Chris Rock blush

Finally, 10. How’s your hair?

1. Full of bounce and vitality
2. It’s okay, but I could spend more time on it
3. Don’t want to talk about it