Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

Pete Ross represents the most clear-cut battle of the Smallville-Superboy Smackdown!. For when it comes to the twin depictions of Pete in the twin media, we find we are dealing with one good twin and one very, very bad one.

'Clark never has to pose in front of curtains'. Pete mopes on.

Let’s kick off with the bad one. The Smallville Pete. Has there ever been a more self-pitying superfluous supporting character in modern television? For the first season, Pete hung around the Kryptonian, getting himself into the occasional trouble, making the occasional overtly heterosexual comment but offering little else.

From the second season, Pete’s role expanded further. Following the lead of Superboy Pete, he discovered Clark’s powers. He immediately moped about this and the fact he hadn’t been told sooner. He then developed a crush on Chloe, but when he realised she instead had the understandable hots for the Kryptonian, he moped about it and how unfair it was that he lacked ‘killer cheekbones’ .

Don't be ridiculous Pete – of course I prefer Clark. Look at him.

He then took up a bizarre sideline in Smallville streetcar racing and gambling debt amassing. When Clark made him stop doing this, he moped about it and how it sucked that somebody had to bail him out of trouble all the time.

In short, Smallville Pete is the most self-pitying wretch of a character you ever did see. Viewers worldwide wiped their brow in relief when he left the show in a predictable shower of whining tears.

In Superboy comics, sound travels faster than light.

Superboy Pete? A different kettle of tea, indeed. For starters, when he discovered Clark’s secret identity (thanks to a camping trip and a freak lightning bolt), he didn’t go on about it (nor the violation of physics that caused him to be woken by a thunder crash that preceded the lightning). In fact, he didn’t even tell Clark he knew!! He just worked behind the scenes, helping him out any way he could. Like a proper friend.

Superboy Pete – not much of an actor, but one heck of a friend.

When Clark decided to feign his death in a canoeing accident for reasons that are far too convoluted to go into at this time (it suffices to say that it was all the work of insidious mind-controlling Phantom Zone villains, as you’d expect), did Superboy Pete panic?

No, sir, he did not. He went along with the plan, despite having not been let in on any of Superboy’s bizarre motivations for this brazen scheme. And he most surely did not go on the mope. Sure, his acting may have left a little to be desired, but he’s a loyal pal, not a Tony Award-winning song and dance man.

In fact, the more I examine Superboy Pete’s actions and his selfless dedication and friendship, the more I begin to see him as the true hero of the Superboy comics.

Despite his horrendous acne, Pete stands by Clark in his time of need.

Sure, the Kryptonian’s got the funky red and blue longjohns, but Pete’s the one getting his hands dirty behind the scenes, despite some of the worst acne scars ever depicted in comicdom.

Smackdown Verdict:

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