Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

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So I tuned into Jericho last night, for I am a sucker for all things Ulrich. (A tangent before I begin: why, for the love of all that is sacred and puerile, do celebrity journalists insist upon calling Skeet Ulrich the ‘poor man’s Johnny Depp’? He’s Skeet Ulrich, not Skeet Depppoor. If the celebjourns want to get it right on the nomenclature front, shouldn’t they be calling Tracey Ullman, the, uh, ‘poor manly woman’s Skeet Ulrich’? Or something. Head hurts now.)

Enough of cumbersome wordplay I can’t quite make work. Here’s my gripe: Mushroom clouds. Why do they always get the bum rap? It seems to me as if every time there’s a mushroom cloud on the horizon, people are all ‘ooh, nuclear war’ this and ‘radiation sickness’ that and ‘let’s shovel busloads of people into a mine and ludicrously blow it all up before the storm comes’ the other. Chill out, Jerichissimos! Enough of your panicky superficiality. Don’t judge a nuke by its cover. I may be proven wrong in later episodes, but right now, I’m guessing that little mushroom cloud is going to be eventually seen as the best thing that ever happened to Skeet and his little friends in Jericho. And we will all learn a valuable lesson about the multi-faceted nature of mushroom clouds.

On the other hand, toadstool clouds? They’re never good.

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