Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

If you love someone, as a wise Jedi once brazenly hypothesised, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours. If they don’t, they never were. All well and good, I suppose, but in the meantime, who is going to make my dinner?

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Super-secret Smallville spoilers for Season Six:

The programming for Kristin Kreuk’s CGI will break down, which will leave Lana only able to display three (3) separate emotional states (happiness, sadness, toothache). Critics will acclaim this expanded range as the highlight of the season.
Lois will continue rounding out her curriculum vitae with brief careers as [...]

It’s easy for right-thinking people to be absolutely furious with The Artist Currently Known As Prince. After all, he, senselessly and without provocation, invented SMS-speak, with such hits as Nothing Compares 2 U and Purple Rain (LOL).

But can we really stay mad? He will be tried for those crimes and that will be the end [...]

Dear Dr Dan,
I’m leading a band with my friends, but one glaring problem has presented itself: our band has no name! What should we do, regarding the name issue?
– Triple Platinum

Dear Triple Platinum,
Call yourselves ‘The Beatles’. It’ll boost ticket and album sales no end.

Fact! Large-lipped Aerosmith lead singer Stephen Tyler has long described himself as ‘the number one fan’ of the blended family sitcom The Brady Bunch. It was this fascination with Mike, Carol and their combined sextet of children that inspired him to write the smash hit single Dude Looks Like A Brady. Tyler hoped the song would [...]

Dear Dr Dan,
What do you do if you have a son that is a homosexual?
– Hetero Dad

Dear Hetero Dad,
Well, you stop flirting with his dates, that’sfor sure.

Table of Contents

#34 – The Ant And The Avalanche
#35 – The Guilty
#36 – World War Three, Part One
#37 – World War Three, Part Two
#38 – World War Three, Part Three
#39 – World War Three, Part Four
#40 – World War Three, Part Five
#41 – World War Three, Part Six, Mageddon

Issue Thirty-Four – The Ant And The [...]

Fact! The smash hit film Memento originally focussed on a man trying to solve a mystery despite suffering from crippling hair loss. But after Guy Pearce fell in love with his dyed blonde hair on the first day of the shoot, he immediately proposed the hair loss angle be replaced by that of memory loss. One quick rewrite (and a [...]