Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

Mid-Air Collision!! That’s the name of the show I watched the other night. I’m rather certain the rationale behind Mid-Air Collision!!!! was “Gosh those disasters sure rate well when we cover them, but isn’t it a bother that we never get any really good footage and have to rely on the amateurish camera work of everyday non-Union-affiliated members of the public more concerned with fleeing the scene and saving their lives than getting the story. Hmmmm… I know, let’s just make up a tragedy and cover that”.

And so they did. A detailed study of what would happen if two planes collided (in mid-air!!, mind you) above Heathrow. And it was all:

“Suddenly, BANG! 600 fictional lives are snuffed out as the two planeswe invented collide. The devastating horror we have come up with isawful. We imagine streets full of passers-by looking up, unable tobelieve what they would be seeing if it had happened.

And how would our air traffic controller react, knowing that his concocted error has resulted in the deaths of all those unreal people on those two planes and, indeed, many of the imaginary bystanders below, crushed by the fictional wreckage from the collision. Should there be greater controls placed on air traffic controllers to prevent such invented devastation occurring in the future? That is certainly something Parliament will consider, following this made-up tragedy. And, of course, a live news report on this tragedy would look something like this, were it real:”

Cut to Live Reporter on imaginary scene:

“We can only imagine what the pilots must have been thinking in the last seconds before impact. And, indeed, they can only think what we are imagining. Because this entire devastation we are witnessing here is a fabrication, a concoction dreamt up by mad British television producers drunk on their own insanity.”

And so on and so forth…

It was possibly the single stupidest show I’ve ever seen in my life. Ten out of ten!

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