Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

I have no beef with most Christmas carols. I guess you could describe me as yuletidishly easygoing, if that was your verbal whim. But I do draw the line at Oh Come, All Ye Faithful. It starts off fine: “Oh come all ye faithful”. Fair enough – faith seems to be a fundamental prerequisite for most religious gatherings. Doubters, think twice. “Joyful”. Sure. Don’t want a bunch of sad sacks around, no matter how overcome with faith they might be. “And triumphant.” Triumphant? Triumphant?? I’m sorry, but this just smacks of shameless elitism to me. And that’s where this carol loses me. I refuse to listen to this anti-loser propaganda. My carefully designated Christmas carol-listening hours will not be tainted with the foul stench of a competitive environment. Unless, obviously, it’s attached to some form of Reality TV Show (possible working title: Graven Idol). Because that would be awesome!!

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