Dan Liebke’s Astonishing Tales

I have been simply staggered by the number of people in the street who, over the past week, have halted their day-to-day chores and illegal drug dealings in order to sprint towards me and compare notes on last week’s episode of The Amazing Race.
“Why, Indy?” goes the repetitive refrain. “Why, for the love of all [...]

Here’s a tip for those of you who havebeen married to The Lone Ranger for nigh on twenty-fiveyears. As your upcoming silver anniversary approaches, take time out to make perfectly clear to your masked husband that the appropriate gift would be one based around the precious metal, rather than his long-suffering namesake steed.A highly specific [...]

Dear Dr Dan,
People have been saying that the Harry Potter books are evil, encouraging witchcraft and all that. So if I read the Harry Potter books and watch the movies, does that mean I’m dooming myself to an eternity in hell?
– Hellbound But Literary
Dear Hellbound But Literary,
Well, of course. But isn’t it worth it to [...]

Watched Stargate: Atlantis the other night because,moronically, I had no nails nearby to stab repeatedly into myeyes. I remember little of that lost hour - the brain trulydoes have some wondrous mechanisms built into its structure -but one line of dialogue caught my vigilant ear and now, almost aweek later, refusesto be released from my [...]

Listening to the radio on the way home the other day when, of a sudden, the melodious and carb-free vocals of Mr William Joel filled the air. As well they might. We’re not Philistines.
Uptown Girl. She’s been living in her uptown world. I bet she never had a backstreet guy. I bet her mother never [...]

I was watching Inspector Gadget 2 last night (not 100% certain why butI’m thinking alcohol was almost certainly involved) and it occurred tome that the Child Welfare people that decided to leave Penny with her”Uncle” Gadget really should be investigated.
I mean, this is just gross incompetence of the highest order. Who ismanaging this case!? For [...]

Dear Dr Dan,
Do you have a girlfriend?
– Curious Like A Cat-Murderer
Dear Curious Like A Cat-Murderer,
I do, but don’t tell my wife.

While I am suitably dazzled and nonplussed by the premise of Bewitched - namely, that Nicole ‘The New Witch’ Kidman is, in fact, a real witch who has been chosen by Will ‘The New New Darren’ Ferrell to co-star with him in an all-new remake of the original TV show Bewitched - I’m not sure [...]

The worst thing about being a taxi driver would be the end of the financialyear. “Time to do the taxi taxes,” your accountant would say, assuming hewas a jerk. “Are tacks tax-deductible?” he might quip. “Boy, taxi taxes sureare taxing.” And so forth. In retrospect, you can understand why De Niro went completely psychotic and [...]