Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

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Of all the movies I’ve ever seen that exist primarily as a line between two points twenty-five years and several billion dollars apart, Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge Of The Sith is by far my favourite.

I do have a minor quibble with the timeline however. I don’t profess to be an expert on Star Wars minutiae. For one thing, I have a sex life. As such, I’m not precisely sure how much time separates Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge Of The Sith and Star Wars Episode 4: A New Title. Nor, for that matter, do I know how long it is between the latter movie and Star Wars Episode 6: Return Of The Jedi. But I do know one thing. The time taken to complete the second Death Star is an order of magnitude less than the time to completion for the first one. And Lucas doesn’t explain why there’s such a discrepancy. Perhaps we are supposed to infer time savings due to enhanced production techniques, or increased manpower or corner-cutting of some ilk (perhaps the second Death Star not only dispensed with a hull, but also, I dunno, a gym and in-ship McDonalds).

This timing issue irks me, but as I say, it’s a small quibble. Overall, I enjoyed the movie and its important message on Planned Parenthood. Don’t just go shagging willy-nilly, is Lucas’s warning. Because if you’re not careful you may find yourself with both a sudden, unplanned family unit and an evil Galactic Empire crushing free thought and all who dare oppose it. Think about that next time you’re having unprotected sex, teenlings.

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