Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

Dear Dr Dan,
I want to be an actor but have no idea where to start! I’m 15 and went to this place today but the lady was very odd. I’m quite shy so I only want private lessons. Can you give me any advice?
– Bree Bootylicious Baby

Dear Bree Bootylicious,
Many of the finest actors in Hollywood are extremely shy and incapable of acting in public. Or, indeed, in the movies in which they appear. But you don’t see that stopping them, do you? Remember, the most important thing as an actor is not the work you do, but rather the celebrities you date. Try being engaged to Brad Pitt for a while. Even if it won’t get you work, it’ll annoy the bejeezus out of Aniston. And it’s about time somebody paid her back for Picture Perfect.

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