Dan Liebke’s Astonishing Tales

1st of August, 2004 Diary Note: 7:30 pm Felt queasy all day. Certain it was Ashley Judd’s trout daiquiris.
2nd of August, 2004 Diary Note: 5:00 pm Booked in for Puzo-appendectomy today. The Coppolas finally issued legal order for me to hand over Mario Puzo’s appendix from inside my body. Long hospital delays eased not at all by ward-to-ward troubadouring by [...]

Okay, people, it’s time to wrap up the second season of Smallville. We pick up precisely where we left off last episode (because that’s the kind of close-minded traditionalists we are). Superlad has wandered into the barn to find the spaceship, which, to the surprise of everybody is up and talking.
Also, it’s claiming to be [...]

Wow. You go away for 2 days and you come back to find Kirk Cameron is the new Messiah. I refer, of course, to Kirk’s thrilling Way of the Master website.
Did Kirk go off the deep end?
I love the names of some of “Kirk’s Columns”:

Screamin’ Preachers and Honky-tonk Organs
Chicken Mercies
Salting the Oats
It Pays to be [...]

As the Athens Olympic Games draw to a close, the performances ofStanozolol, a long-time powerhouse in the Olympics medal tally,have drawn harsh criticism.
Stanozolol, a banned anabolic agent, finished a lowly seventhon the Olympics table with 6 Gold, 9 Silver and 2 Bronze, fora total of 17 medals. Thiscompares unfavourably to previous games, such as Sydney [...]

Over the past few weeks I have received literally thousands of emails and letters and standard telegraphs all with one message - ‘Indy, isn’t the smash hit film Jersey Girl the most worthless piece of donkey vomit to ever appear in our cinemas?’
And of course that goes without saying. But what disturbs me more is [...]

Was flicking through the jobs on seek.com.au recently and stumbled across the following job:
Wanted:
Superhero (or Superhero group)
Job Description:
Our client, an influential leader of a small planet on the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy is currently having problems with a monstrous super-villain of unthinkable power destroying his planet and enslaving his loyal subjects and is [...]

Well, okay then. Enough of this madness. It’s time to end this season, and end it with a big bloody Krypton-explodin’ kinda bang.
As all good two-part season finales must, we commence with a comatose linguist raising from his Luthor-sanctioned hospital prison bed, burning a whole heap of bizarre squiggles into the roof before shooting an [...]

You know, I was thinking last night about the people that invented words for plants and gardening (this is not an uncommon area for my synapses to take me into) and they really were very unimaginative people.
I mean they come up with the most amazing names for the wide ranging varieties of flora and fauna [...]

I’m actually in Rockhampton at the moment. Flew to Rocky at 6:00 AM this morning which is just bad news.
Caught a cab at 5:00 AM from home and the cabbie was just the most talkative guy in the world. And I don’t mean smart talkative. He was dumb talkative as in he just seemed to [...]

I was on the bus this morning and I noticed some skywriting going on.
Now who in this day and age still considers skywriting a viable form of advertising!!!! The concept has many flaws:

The average person is not going to stare directly into the sun for the better part of 10 minutes trying to work out [...]