Three Kings

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Watched Three Kings last night, y’know, just to keep up my daily dose of Vitamin Wahlberg. My question is this: is there some kind of law prohibiting publicity people and advertisers from marketing this film correctly? Every single preview and ad for this movie seems hell-bent on promoting it as a knockabout dose of comical hijinks as Clooney and co get up to zany and madcap gold-stealin’ mischief.

And yet, no. Not actually what the film’s about so much.

So why this promotional angle? And why haven’t more movies adopted it? Why wasn’t The Godfather promoted as a bawdy romp with zany gangsters getting up to all kinds of horse-head tomfoolery? Why was Blade Runner not portrayed as the racy tale of a wild-eyed, replicant-shootin’ buffoon? To Kill A Mockingbird? A laugh-a-minute country bumpkin lawyer making us chortle in delight with his off-the-wall legal tactics. Schindler’s List? Oh, Schindler you and your jolly Jew-rescuin’ register. You playful court jester, you.

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I’m determined to never take any movie seriously ever again.

Yes, okay. You got me. Scrap ‘ever again’.



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