Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

Imagine if your surname was ‘Poison’. That would be so cool. I’d go to university and become a professor just so I could be called Professor Poison. And I bet even if you were, like, a professor of quantum chromodynamics or something not at all to do with biochemistry, people would still be scared when invited over to dinner at your place. Neat. I think the downside would be if you made a breakthrough in quantum chromodynamics and the band Poison got the credit. You’d ring them up and say ‘hey, stop taking the credit for my research’ and they’d say ‘screw you’ and you’d say ‘well, if you’re going to accept the Nobel Prize for Physics can you at least get a haircut’ and they’d just laugh. Bastards! But maybe they’d eventually regret their actions and give you some of the royalties from Unskinny Bop by way of recompense. So it would probably work out okay.

Related Pages

If you hated this, you'll probably also hate:

1. Daisy Chain - As a young kid growing up in the country, there wasn’t much in the way of quality entertainment. We often had to make our own fun. So, for example, one...
2. 5.13 Professor WildStallion… Meet Ah Joey’s Tongue - Starring Dawson Leery (James Van Der Beek) as Kid Flash/Mr Tosser/Dunstan, Joey Potter (Katie Holmes) as Ah Joey, Jen Lindley (Michelle Williams) as Chipmunk Face, Pacey Witter (Joshua Jackson) as...