Dan Liebke's Astonishing Tales

Renowned lateral thinker and pop sensation Kim Wilde has recently proposed that we start blowing up planets – the idea being that with a bit of luck a child may be rocketed away from the exploding planet and land on Earth, develop a wide array of superpowers and protect us from everything. Critics such as Scott Wolf have questioned whether the total planetary genocide of an alien race for the (admittedly) slim chance of receiving our very own superhero is justified. I, for one, say ‘yes’. God knows our current comic book based plan – of having muggers kill people in the hope that the child of the murderees will swear vengeance and grow up to dress up as a bat and rid our city of street crime – that plan just isn’t working. It seems young orphans these days are just too bone idle to swear unholy vengeance on the underworld.

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